Thursday, April 28, 2005


I find it hard to write some days. Its more fun to play with the code behind this and get it looking like I want. Forgot how much fun it was to create something.

Not so paranoid anymore .. I decided to say fuck it and not worry. So I'm at work right now, made a bunch of phone calls that aren't going anywhere. I guess this is why I'm feeling that my life is wasted. What have I produced that means anything. I know, 3 great kids, a marriage that has lasted and looks like it will last. (heck when we get a chance to make love its pretty good, if I can stop coming so early. I don't know should I masturbate more or less.) So I've done alot with that side of my life, but what about the side that needs to feel self worth in its job. I don't know does your job make you who you are?

I have a need to be more creative. I have do something. I've started taking TaeKwanDo, it makes me feel good physically (it really feels good to kick and punch someone), but I mean more creative artisically. I garden, its fun and makes me proud when the colours come out as I want them, but I want to create a work of art or write a novel. Something that will last.

Take a look at this guy, this is what I mean when I say I want to be more creative.